ON THIS DAY

It was on this date in 1787 that Congress established the Northwest Territory.

• Of course, today it's known by other names, like Micro-Beer Country and Legalized Pot Territory.
• If you have to ask which direction that is from here, we're sending you back to school.
• Of course, being congress, they first designated it in the south east.

In 1793, French revolutionary writer Jean Paul Marat is murdered in his bath by Charlotte Corday. What made it even more agonizing was having to pose for that famous painting while he was being stabbed. Not to be insensitive, but talk about a tough ring to get out. OK, maybe I was insensitive...

On this date in 1865, Horace Greeley advised his readers to "Go west."

• They did, his readership plummeted and he soon found himself out of a job.
• Actually, he said to go "West and rewax."
• He said they looked tiwed and they should west. (Love Elmer Fudd)
• Sadly, those already in California, drowned.