TOP FIVE THINGS WE'D LIKE TO SEE AT THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION

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  1. Uncle Sam getting up there and asking, "Am I being punked?"
  2. "Everyone grab a brick and let's build that sucker now!"
  3. "Melania would ilke to do another speech, but this one by Nancy Reagan!"
  4. "Catering service -- separate checks, please!"
  5. "Don't drink the coffee! Repeat -- don't drink the coffee! Someone made decaf!"

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