Buh-Bye Kraft American Singles

Kraft American Singles have been a staple in US kitchens for decades, but may not be for much longer. It seems millennials aren't interested in buying or eating the processed stuff, preferring instead natural cheeses that taste way better even if they are pricier. In addition, restaurant chains such as Wendy's, Cracker Barrel, and Panera Bread are either ditching Kraft American Singles-a champion melter-or at least offering alternatives. US sales of processed cheese are on track to dip for the fourth consecutive year. A solid 40% of US households still buy Kraft Singles, but sales are flat according to one company exec. (Esquire)

So You Think Your Kid is Smart?

So, you think your kid is smart? Well, did he or she start a bank - when they were a second grader? Meet Jose Adolfo Quisocala Condori, a Peruvian boy who started a children's savings bank when he was only 7. Today, his bank serves over 2,000 clients and offers various financial services. Jose got the idea after noticing that many of his peers were spending their money on sweets and toys, instead of saving it for more meaningful purchases. Despite his young age, he understood that saving money and accessing the financial system were two ways that adults - like his parents - solved many of their financial and social problems, so he decided to make them available to kids as well. Jose says, "At the beginning, my teachers thought I was crazy or that a child could not undertake this type of project. Luckily, I had the support of the school principal and an assistant in my classroom. I also had to endure the jokes and bullying of my classmates for the work I was doing." Jose founded the Bartselana Student Bank and even reached an arrangement with local recycling companies that offered his clients a higher price per kilogram of recyclable waste, with all proceeds deposited straight into their accounts. To make sure that the children were the only ones who benefited from their work, he also made a rule that nobody except the clients themselves, not even their parents, could make withdrawals. For his achievements, Jose has received several honorary awards, has been featured in documentaries and has been invited to events in countries all over the world. (Oddity Central)

Teacher Out for Tweet About Kavanaugh

This week Brett Kavanaugh started his new job as a Supreme Court justice. Also this week, a Minnesota teacher lost her job - over a Tweet she wrote about Justice Kavanaugh. The unnamed Rosemount special education teacher's resignation was announced Tuesday, the same day Kavanaugh joined the bench. It seems last Saturday night she Tweeted: "So whose [sic] gonna take one for the team and kill Kavanaugh?" Her Twitter account is no longer active. Independent School District 917 Superintendent Mark Zuzek says the district began fielding complaints the next day and the teacher was placed on paid leave so the situation could be investigated. She then voluntarily resigned. A rep for the FBI in Minneapolis tells the Star Tribune it was made aware of the tweet but it's unclear whether authorities will probe this incident. Forget about the threats - she should be fired for being a teacher and not knowing the difference between whose and who's! (FOX 9)

Guess Who Owns

In other Brett Kavanaugh, news, our newest Supreme Court Justice is probably wishing he had purchased the domain that bears his name. But he didn't, so somebody else did. So now if you go to you'll find a webpage titled "We Believe Survivors." The website declares: "The start of Brett Kavanaugh' s tenure on the Supreme Court may look like a victory for one interest group or another, but, more importantly, it is putting a national focus on the issue of sexual assault-and how we as a country can and should do more to prevent it and to support those who have experienced it." It then offers links to resources for survivors of sexual assault. Turns out Gabe Roth, executive director of Fix the Court, bought a number of domain names three years ago that he "thought might be useful in any forthcoming Supreme Court confirmation battles. was one of them. Fix the Court is an organization that wants Supreme Court reforms including term limits for justices. Comedian Dave Weasel also recently revealed he bought (Honorable Brett Kavanaugh) and redirected it to point to the website for RAINN, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. (Newser)

No Wonder the Post Office Is Broke!

They're calling it one of the biggest internal thefts in US Post Office history. It seems 46-year-old postal worker Ryan Cortez is being accused of a massive theft of stamps-more than $630,000 worth-from the Kenner, Louisiana post office where he works. Cortez makes about $70,000 a year but lost more than $650,000 gambling over the past seven years according to casino records. Federal prosecutors say they now know how he got the money to support his habit. Cortez was arrested Wednesday and charged with misappropriation of postal funds or property. The criminal complaint against Cortez says he admitted to stealing the stamps, then hawking them on eBay. USPS investigators got wind of the alleged scheme when both eBay and PayPal notified them of "significant quantities" of stamps being sold on the former's site. So 630K worth of stamps goes missing from one post office, and it takes you seven years to figure this out? Man, we're in trouble. (Times-Picayunne)

Cheating, Lying Wine Snobs!

If you're a big wine lover, maybe you know that to achieve the rank of Master Sommelier (Sum-all-YAY) is about as big as it gets in the world of wine experts. It's no easy undertaking and the exam is known to be notoriously difficult. It usually takes years, even decades, of study to conquer the three-part test of wine knowledge-broken down into theory, table service, and tasting. How hard is it? Well less than 300 people have passed over the last 49 years. Now 23 sommeliers who thought they had made the grade just found out they've got to take that monster test again. The Court of Master Sommeliers, Americas announced this week it would invalidate the results of the blind tasting administered in St. Louis because of "clear evidence" of cheating. The court says an unnamed court master "breached the confidentiality" of the test by releasing "detailed information concerning wines in the tasting flight" ahead of time. (Let's pause here for an audible gasp) The offending master will be stripped of his title and court membership, and 23 of 24 newly minted masters must retake the tasting test-in which they're asked to identify six wines, down to the year, grape, and region. CMS board chairman Devon Broglie is sympathetic and says, "I can only imagine how hard it hit everyone to learn that something they worked so hard for was tainted by the actions of a single individual." Somehow I keep picturing the scene in Mary Poppins when Mr. Banks gets fired and one of the bank executives takes his top hat and punches a hole through it. (Washington Post)

Sleep Better - Wear Wool!

Scientists in Australia say they've found an effective remedy for insomnia and it has nothing to do with counting sheep, but more to do with shearing sheep. Experts say wool helps keep the body in the "thermal comfort zone" and wearing wool pajamas is very conducive to restful sleep. Study participants who wore pajamas made of wool rather than cotton,took 11 minutes to fall asleep, while those who didn't took 15 minutes or longer. However, we should point out that the research was funded by the wool industry's Australian Wool Innovation (AWI), and has not yet been published. (Metro)

What the What?

An idiot in South Carolina will most likely be spending a lot of time in prison over a bag of salt-and-vinegar potato chips. Authorities say 19-year-old Ryan Dean Langdale had warned his 17-year-old cousin not to eat his bag of chips, but when he did, Langdale shot him! Now, along with attempted murder, Langdale now faces additional charges after lying to police. The sheriff's office said Langdale told deputies his cousin had accidentally shot himself by dropping a hunting rifle while cleaning it, but Maj. J.W. Chapman said, "We knew from the beginning that something wasn't right." Langdale now faces charges of obstruction of justice after authorities learned he switched weapons while on the scene, plus charges of using a firearm in a violent crime. Throw your damn life away for potato chips. OMG you are stupid! (FOX News)


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