You pan everything around college football schedules.
You've visited the statue honoring the boll weevil.
You've eaten your barbecue with white sauce at some point.
It's no big deal to see a moose in your driveway or on Main Street.
You've ever asked the question "the reds in yet?"
You never had the day off school because of snow.
The only "tree" in your front yard is a Saguaro.
You feel cold when it dips to 85 degrees Fahrenheit.
You know what to do during a haboob.
You know float trips are better than a day at the beach.
You don't bat an eye at the idea of rotary tiller or outhouse races.
You know how to call those Hogs and it doesn't involve pigs.
You didn't know there was such a thing as "seasonal produce."
You'd never use the words "Cali" or "Frisco" or "San Fran."
Earthquakes below a 5.0 on the Richter Scale barely phase you.
Directions to anywhere always includes "toward" the mountains or "away from" the mountains.
When you go anywhere else, the air feels sticky.
It will always be "Mile High" to you.
You know it's called a "grinder," not a "sub."
You eat butter, not mayo, on your lobster rolls.
The Huskies are your pride and joy, even if you know nothing about them.
You know what "Punkin Chunkin" is and why it deserves a world championship competition.
Sales tax upsets you.
Slippery dumplings are the only kind to eat.
You don't notice sweat.
You dread "bug season" but you don't mind when a lizard gets indoors.
You know a good parking spot involves shade, not proximity.
Besides water, you drink only sweet tea or Coke.
You know how to bark like a Dawg.
You know that no other state does biscuits and gravy, pecan pie, or fried green tomatoes better.
You know it's called "shave ice," not a "snow cone."
You know where to get the best plate lunches.
You always call them slipper, not flip-flops.
You know "fry sauce" goes with almost everything.
It upsets you when someone puts a "Z" sound in Boise.
Your hometown's elevation is greater than its population.
You would never ever think of putting ketchup on your hot dog.
It will always be the Sears Tower to you.
You've wondered why other states don't have a Casimir Pulaski Day.
You make your pick long ago: Hoosier or Boilermaker>
You wouldn't dare order anything at the state fair that wasn't deep fried.
You believe pork tenderloin and sugar cream pie taste like home.
You know puppy chow isn't for puppies and the Original Maid Rite is the best sandwich ever.
You know to yell "Padiddle" when you see a car with one headlight out.
You've participated in or watched RAGBRAI, the best bicycle ride in the world.
You can't find bierocks or tomato sandwiches as good anywhere else.
You've seen the world's largest ball of twine up-close.
You prefer the "Little Apple" over the "Big" any day.
You know Louisville is NOT pronounced "loo-iss-vil."
Everyone you know has a different recipe for burgoo.
You know it's called supper, not dinner.
You know how to correctly says Lafayette, Natchitoches, and Ouachita.
You know the difference between swamp pop and Zydeco.
You've ever said "save the dishes" or "making groceries."
You know Renys is the only store you'll ever need.
You grew up "going to bean suppers" and searching for fiddleheads.
You say "wicked" instead of "very" or "really."
You put Old Bay on almost everything.
You know the difference between "a jimmy" and "a sally."
You have family members who still can't talk about the Colts without getting upset.
Everyone you know goes "down the cape" for vacation.
You know it's a frappe, not a milkshake.
You know it's easier to find a parking space in Manhattan than Harvard Square.
You know what Vernors is.
You show people where you're from by pointing to your palm.
You wear tennis shoes, not sneakers.
You've said the phrases "you betcha" or "oh, for cute."
You know it's a hotdish, not a casserole.
You can't wait for the state fair so you can eat your favorite food-on-a-stick.
You have to pick a side: Ole Miss or State.
You know comeback sauce is for lettuce or anything fried.
You prefer your peanuts boiled.
You know Ranch dressing taste delicious on so many different foods.
You are well acquainted with the "Home of Throwed Rolls."
You spent summer evening as a kid catching lightning bugs.
You've attended a festival celebrating buzzards, brothels, Evil Knievel, or sheep.
You use landmarks, not street names, to give directions.
The only traffic jams in your area tend to involve livestock.
You can't understand why chili and cinnamon rolls aren't served together in other places.
You don't think it's unusual that hot dogs are shot out of a cannon at Husker games.
You know Dorothy Lynch dressing goes on almost every food imaginable.
You cringe when someone calls it "Nev-AH-dah."
You know the best time to go pine nut hunting.
You love the smell of sagebrush in the rain.
You remember where you where the day the Old Man of the Mountain fell down.
You know Fluffernutter sandwiches are a lunchbox staple.
You've been fishing for hornpouts.
You go "down the shore," not "to the beach."
You've never really learned how to pump your own gas.
Breakfast isn't complete without pork roll or Taylor ham.
You know food is something that comes with your red or green Chile.
Your favorite holiday tradition is lighting the luminarias on Christmas Eve.
You can't find decent sopapillas anywhere but here.
You've debated what is really considered "upstate" with other natives.
You don't understand why other places don't have "white hots," "salt potatoes," and "riggies."
You've never been to the Statue of Liberty.
You know barbecue is a noun, not a verb, and you've had a heated debated about what kind is best.
You know how to correctly pronounce "Appalachian."
You have to choose light blue, dark blue, or read.
Your mom's idea of salad didn't usually involve greens, but did include Jell-O.
You know what "uff da" means.
You've been to a potluck in a church basement.
You grew up at least five miles from a corn field.
You know buckeyes involve chocolate and peanut butter.
You get excited when you hear a new roller coaster is being built.
You've attended a festival honoring Kolache or fried onion burgers.
Someone yells "Boomer," and you know to yell "Sooner."
You know many foods taste better fried, including chicken fried steak, fried okra, and fried pies.
You know swimming at the beach would require a wetsuit.
You get annoyed when people mispronounce Willamette.
You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
You only refer to your state by two letters.
You don't know why you can't find chipped chopped ham anywhere else.
You still have your original "Terrible Towel."
You can't understand why other states don't have coffee milk.
You order jimmies on your sundae and extra extra in your coffee.
You think Mr. Potato Head is a symbol of state pride.
You know good barbecue sauce is mustard-based.
You think pimiento cheese is excellent on crackers, sandwiches, burgers, or as a dip.
You know how to do the shag.
You've been to the Corn Palace and Wall Drug.
You lament the fact that you can't find hot beef or chislic on a menu out of state.
Driving long distances doesn't bother you, but traffic does.
You know all the best "meat and three" places.
You believe RC and Moon Pies were meant to be consumed together.
You have a lot of clothes that are orange.
You correctly use the term "all y'all" when referring to more than two people.
You know real chili does NOT contain beans.
You know football isn't a sport, it's a lifestyle.
It's red or blue on game day.
You've made funeral potatoes for a gathering and it wasn't necessarily for a funeral.
You always go to the parade and see fireworks for Pioneer Day.
You refuse to eat fake maple syrup.
Your least favorite season is mud season.
You know it's creemee, not a soft serve.
You know there's no other food as perfect as a Smithfield ham.
School field trips were always to President's homes.
You either had to be a Hokie or a Hoo.
You've foraged for mushrooms in the spring or you know someone who has.
You never use an umbrella.
You've been to a festival celebrating sweet onions, strawberries, oysters, or lentils.
You know the best place to get pepperoni rolls and have a favorite Tudor's biscuit.
You use a buggy when shopping.
You won the Golden Horseshoe award in eighth grade.
Traveling coast to coast means going from LaCrosse to Milwaukee.
You drink from a bubbler.
You know how to pronounce "brats" properly.
You know it's a bison, not a buffalo.
You measure distance in hours, not miles.
You know fry bread is best served with honey butter.