Never Mess With a Boy With a Baseball Bat!

In Mesa, Arizona, a burglar got more than he bargained for after breaking into the home where 14-year-old Michael Six lives. Michael locked himself in his bedroom, grabbed an aluminum baseball bat and hid in his closet and after seeing a man use a screwdriver to break open a sliding-glass door of his home. He then dialed 911 and was talking to an operator when the intruder used the screwdriver to get into his room. As the burglar rummaged through Michael's backpack, Michael stepped out and started wailing on him with the bat. On the 911 tape the crook can be heard screaming and cursing as Michael says, "Sorry man!" (The Arizona Republic)

Family Gets Gas

In South Charleston, West Virginia, 25-year-old Madeline Jordon thought she had come up with a clever way to beat high gas prices for her entire family. Too bad it involved breaking the law. Madeline worked at a BP station and now stands accused of defrauding her boss out of nearly $50,000 by selling gas for only one tenth of a penny a gallon to her mother, brother, a cousin and two others. The station's owner told police last week he had noticed a significant drop in his income and found receipts that listed the deeply discounted rate. Police believe that for several months, Madeline would reset the price at the pumps every Sunday morning and allow people she knew to fill up. Should have spent Sunday mornings in church Maddy-instead of doing SATAIN'S WORK! (

Waking Up at the Wake

No better time to wake up than at your own wake! An 81-year old man in the small Chilean village of Angol shocked his grieving relatives by doing just that-- waking up in his coffin at his own wake on Sunday! It seems that Feliberto Carrasco's family members discovered his body limp and cold and were convinced he was dead. So rather than call a doctor, they called a funeral home. They dressed him in his finest suit for the wake, and his relatives gathered to bid him a final farewell. That's when he sat up! The man who "rose from the dead" said he was not in any pain, and only asked for a glass of water. (Yahoo News)

Goat Citation

In Dibble, Oklahoma, convenience-store manager Carol Mendenhall received a citation from police for-are you ready for this-- allowing her four goats to have sex in her front yard in public view! Apparently that's illegal in Dibble. She admitted that her billy goat, Adam, had been attending to three females who were all in heat at the same time. Guess when you live in a town of 228, the police just don't have much to do. To Dibble's credit, the city council has since repealed the goat ordinance, after a successful campaign launched by Carol. (Austin American-Statesman)

Drug Money Means No Lottery Winnings!

Hey note to self: Don't buy lottery tickets with your drug trafficking money. 46-year-old Michael David bought a winning lottery ticket in Ellsworth, Maine, and was set to pick up his $1,000 prize. Problem was he allegedly bought the ticket using money from selling drugs to an undercover police officer. Allegedly he sold four methadone pills to the undercover cop for $15 each. He then went to a convenience store and used his earnings to buy several items, including the winning lottery ticket. Police arrested him as soon as he got back to his hotel room and confiscated the winning lottery ticket labeling it as proceeds from illegal transactions. (Yahoo News)

Best Movie Weapon in History

So what do you think the best movie weapon of all time is? According to a poll commissioned by 20th Century Fox, it's the classic Star Wars light saber! The weapon of choice of Darth Vadar and Luke Skywalker beat out other historic weapons such as the crossbow from Robin Hood, the golden gun from James Bond and the legendary machine gun used by Tony Montana in the classic gangster flick, Scarface. The final poll results were determined by the collected votes of 2,000 respondents. Dirty Harry's big .44 magnum handgun came in second, followed by the whip wielded by Indiana Jones. The samurai sword from Kill Bill and the chainsaw from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre came in fourth and fifth, respectively. (AHN News)

Weirdest 911 Call Ever!

In Sarasota, Florida, 50-year-old Marjorie Kelley might have some ‘splainin' to do. She recently called 911 after feeling chest pains, but specifically requested that no sirens or lights be used by the ambulance. When EMTs arrived, with sirens and lights blaring, Marjorie reportedly jumped up and chased them down the street, wielding a rolling pin! (WWSB-TV News)

Loneliness Is Worse Than Smoking!

A study from the University of Chicago has a startling result-- loneliness is painful and potentially more deadly than cigarettes! Nicholas Epley, Assistant Professor of Behavioral Science at the university's Graduate School of Business said, "It's actually a greater risk for morbidity or mortality than cigarette smoking is. Being lonely is a bad thing for you." He noted that when people are profoundly lonely and sense no connection with others, they are more likely to see their pets or common household items as human-like. A good example is in the movie "Castaway" in which Tom Hanks creates his friend Wilson out of a volleyball. Epley said, "A brain's not so sensitive to whether it's a person or not. If it's something that has a lot of traits associated with what it means to be a human, then all the better for us, it seems." (Journal of Psychology)


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