ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1713, the city of Baltimore was founded. I never it was lost.

On this date in 1868, Thomas Edison filed for his first patent, for an invention called the Vote Recorder.
  • Ironically, on the same day in Russia, Thomasa Edisonovich patented his invention, the Fake Vote generator.
  • It worked great until years later, when that guy in Florida invented the Chad Hanger.
  • I don't know who gets credit for how I'm voting. Who invented the coin?
  • This would explain his frequent use of the phrase, "Let's vote on it!"

On this date in 1910, Theodore Roosevelt became the first U.S. president to fly.
  • Eventually, he got on an airplane, too.
  • Eventually, to avoid suspicion, he switched to using airplanes.
  • Needless to say, afterwards, his arms were very tired.

In 1968, the very first pygmy hippo was born in captivity at the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago. Zookeepers were so proud, they handed out cigar butts.

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