ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1684, a patent is granted for the thimble.

• Of course, to which I say, "Sew?"
• I know it was a great invention at the time, but I don't know why. I just can't put my thumb on it.
• The Inventor's Guild gave the invention one thumb up.
• The inventor said he was "Tho thrilled."
• A thimble is something is used in a mysterious practice known as "sewing." Not exactly sure what that is, but I know a needle is involved. Must have something to do with drugs.

In 1792, a robber named Nicolas Jacques Pelletier became the first person under French law to be executed by the guillotine. Hopefully, he didn't let that go to his head. It was then featured item of the day on the Home Chopping Network.

On this date in 1901, New York became the first state to require license plates for cars.

• The fee was one dollar. These days, that doesn't even cover the service fee.
• Back then, it cost $1 for your license plate. These days, they can't even make them for that.
• Up until that time, all inmates made were doilies. And really, how many doilies do you really need?

In 1928, the very first guide dog for the blind was assigned to a man named Morris Frank. The dog replaced his useless guide goldfish. It was German Shepherd named Buddy. Or, at least, that's what they told him.