ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1621, the Pilgrims and Native Americans signed a treaty. As far as I know, it all worked out.
The Native Americans wouldn't open any casinos as long as the Pilgrims didn't watch football on Thanksgiving. We all know how that worked out.
As we all know, it turned out to be one of the worst time-share agreements of all time.
The Native Americans agreed to teach them the ways to survive in the New World and the pilgrims agreed to learn and eventually displace the Native Americans from their home.
Within 6 months, the "Ye Olde Casino" opened up.

In 1790, Thomas Jefferson reported to George Washington as our country's new Secretary of State. The first thing Washington said was, "Dibs on the dollar bill and the quarter!" He wanted to make sure he started the job before National Secretary's Day rolled around.

On this date in 1871, Journalist Henry M. Stanley began his famous expedition to Africa to locate the missing Scottish missionary David Livingstone. "Dr. Livingston, I presume?"

It was on this date in 1881, the famous 20-year-long Hatfield and McCoy feud ends. Unfortunately, one side said, "We're finally done with this stupid feud." And someone from the other side said, "Who you callin' stupid?"

In 1963, Attorney General Robert Kennedy closed the prison known as "Alcatraz." It took two tries. The first time, there was a typo in his proclamation and he accidentally closed Alka-Seltzer. Apparently, a guy named Al Catraz kept getting their mail and he was sick of forwarding it along.

On this date in 1987, Televangelist Oral Roberts announced he had to raise 8 million dollars or God would "call him home." Apparently, he must have fallen behind on his payments on December 15, 2009.

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