TODAY IS

Houston Texans player J.J. Watt turns the big 3-0 today. That's 130 in NFL years. YOU tell him you didn't get him anything for his birthday.

Constance Wu -- that Crazy, Rich Asian -- turns 37 today.

Reese Witherspoon celebrates birthday number 43 today. Full legal name: Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon. Wonder, if eventually, she'll shake things up and change her name to Weatherfork?

Former NBC sportscaster Bob Costas, the man without a network, is 67 today. Just once he'd like to go out for dinner and not have the waitress offer him a booster seat. Just once!

Andrew Lloyd Webber, all three of him, turns 71 today.
As a dog person, I will never forgive him for writing, "Cats."
He wrote "Phantom of the Opera," but the Phantom never wrote him back.
For him, "another great score" means a musical achievement, unlike... oh, say Charlie Sheen. Completely different meaning.

George Benson turns 76 today. He was a big part of the "Smooth Jazz" sound and had a hit with "On Broadway."

William Shatner turns 88 today -- "Star Trek"'s first Captain Kirk.
But he's hoping to negotiate a lower rate on Priceline.
He's put on so many pounds, he can longer be beamed up. Only laterally.
Remember Bill, if Scotty beams you up for more than four hours at a time, see your doctor.

According to Playboy, the budget for the TV show "Star Trek" in 1966 was $100,000 per episode. Today an episode of "Star Trek: Discovery" cost $8.5 million per episode to produce.

Signs that Star Trek is taking over your life:
Saying "make it so" in casual conversation.
Indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium.
Able to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first.
More than one pair of Spock ears in junk drawer.
You have figured out the star date system.
Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol.
The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams.
Forgetting that present-day elevators don't have a voice interface.
Serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint.
You understand Klingon.
Lecturing any science professor on how transporters work.

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