Send a Card to a Friend Day --
- Happy Vasectomy. Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one. It was real snippy.
- Heard you had Herpes. And I feel terrible. I'd say "get well soon." But I know it's incurable.
- My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I found your cat. Sorry!
- You had your bladder removed, here's a bouquet of flowers. And a box of Depends.
- Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be! Don't fret about your wife though, she's moving in with me.
- You totaled your car, and can't remember why. Maybe it was... that case of Bud Dry.
- I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead. It's really not that bad when you think about it.
- I heard that you were very sick. I hope that you die painlessly.