Christmas Tree Week -- The first full week in December. It's the perfect time to point out the differences between a Christmas Tree and a date.
  • A Christmas tree is ready when you go to pick it up.
  • A Christmas tree won't retaliate if you dump it after a month.
  • You don't need a clever line to pick up a Christmas tree.
  • You can fondle a tree before you take it home.
  • A Christmas tree doesn't mind you looking under it.
  • A Christmas tree doesn't become envious around bigger trees. This would be known as treeness envy.
  • A Christmas tree doesn't go completely to pieces if you mishandle its balls.
  • You don't have to worry about who else has had your tree.
  • A Christmas tree doesn't worry about how many others you've had.
  • A Christmas tree doesn't object to exotic electrical appliances.
  • A Christmas tree doesn't think your a whacko if it finds an artificial tree in your closet.
  • The tree doesn't get upset when you tie it up and put it in the trunk to take it home.


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