WEIRD NEWS

Maybe It Should Be Bronze Medal Flour

Bad news bakers! General Mills is recalling some of its Gold Medal flour because of a salmonella threat. Those 5-pound bags of Unbleached All Purpose Flour with a "better if used by" date of April 20, 2020, and a UPC of 000-16000-19610-0 are on notice. The company says sample testing turned up "the potential presence" of salmonella, adding that it has not received any reports of illnesses. Consumers can visit the company website for more information on the recall. The company statement also reminds people that flour is never "ready to eat"-anything made with it should be cooked first. Well, I guess that means no more breakfast bowls of flour for me! (CBS News)

Just Another Day at the Waffle House... in Florida

A 38-year-old Pensacola, Florida woman named Freedom Ryder Zobrist is behind bars because deputies said she threatened an employee at Waffle House and danced naked outside the restaurant. According to the Escambia County Sheriff's Office, an employee told Zobrist to leave the restaurant because she had been causing trouble. Zobrist did leave but returned later saying she wanted to get a gun, then shoot the employee and everyone inside! The employee told deputies that Zobrist then took off her pants and danced naked in the restaurant parking. She also reportedly tried to grab the employee's genitals, licked his face and poked his chest. Zobrist was arrested on charges of indecent exposure, simple assault, battery and disturbing the peace. I don't get it. I've been waiting years for my wife to dance naked, grab my genitals and lick my face. How is this a bad thing? (WEAR-TV)

If You Happen to Find a Snake in Your Toilet... 

Down in Brisbane, Australia, Helen Richards went to relieve the call of nature in the middle of the night, sat on her toilet and then felt something bit her backside. At first she thought it was a frog but then saw it was a carpet python in the toilet bowl. While most of us would have freaked out, Helen remained calm and did exactly what she should have done. She did not flush, rather simply closed the toilet bowl lid and called a pest control company. They shared the woman's story on Facebook saying: "Unfortunately, the snakes preferred exit point was blocked after being spooked by the customer sitting down and it simply lashed out in fear. It showed no defensive behavior after this point. Fortunately for us, the customer remained calm and remembered not to flush the toilet, as flushing could cause the snake to retreat down into the pipes again. The snake was safely removed and relocated, and the customer handled the situation like an absolute champ, having a sense of humor about it the entire time." The company also warned: "If you find a Carpet Python in your toilet, don't poke and prod it, don't continue to flush the toilet. If you do these things it increases the chances of us not being able to access the snake if it retreats further into the pipe. Put the lid down, secure it, and call a snake catcher." (Metro)

Ah-Choo!

Need a tissue? How about one somebody's already sneezed into? It'll only cost you $80! Believe it or not, Los Angeles startup Vaev claims to have already sold close to a thousand sneeze-filled tissues to people who want to catch a cold virus now so they don't get sick with the same cold later. Does that make any sense? Vaev bills itself a "wellness brand" but we do have to wonder who in their right mind would pay $79.99 for a germ-contaminated used tissue! Well, that would be "open-minded people" who appreciate the luxury of being able to get sick "on their own terms," according to Vaev founder Oliver Niessen. The 34-year-old entrepreneur claims that these expensive used tissues should be viewed as alternatives to conventional medicine, in that they allow you to purposely catch a cold whenever you want, in order to decrease the risk of catching that same cold at a later date. However, experts warn that while Vaev tissues could technically immunize you against the same strain of cold virus you voluntarily contaminated yourself with, for a short period of time, there are hundreds of other strains of cold virus you could catch. This bizarre inoculation only works for the specific type of cold virus in the tissue. So how do Vaev tissues get contaminated? Well, Niessen claims his company has about 10 go-to sneezers, some of which it recruited online. They sneeze into a batch of regular tissues, send them back to the company, which then packages them in sealed petri dishes and mails them to customers. One word: Ewwwww! (Oddity Central)

Who Wants to Go to a College This Dumb Anyway?

Were you recently accepted into the University of South Florida St. Petersburg? Well... maybe you weren't. The university is apologizing after sending out 430 acceptance letters to students who in fact were not accepted into the school. They weren't exactly compassionate about it either, simply writing: "There was an error in the system. Please disregard the previous email." The school's Chancellor, Martin Tadlock, said the mistake was caused by a "human error" and vowed to ensure it does not happen again. At least the school is reaching out to the impacted students to "discuss possible pathways for admission" and answer any questions they may have. Because the university uses a rolling admissions system, some of the students could be accepted at a later date. (WSRZ)

Apparently Mask = Treasure!

Researchers have discovered an artifact which is believed to be part of a huge haul of treasure hidden somewhere off the Florida coast. It's an ancient funeral mask - estimated to be up to ten or twelve thousand years old - and it washed up on Melbourne Beach! For over a decade, former MIT professor and Army Ranger Mike Torres has been searching for the $17 billion worth of treasure said to be the "holy grail" of shipwrecks. Seafarer Exploration Corporation-a company which recently brought Torres on board to help find the missing treasure-say that the haul was aboard a Spanish ship that sunk during a hurricane in 1715 as it was sailing from Cuba to Spain. The explorers say that finding the lost treasure would be the greatest archaeological discovery in a century, and that the mask could be the missing link in the "debris trail" which could help them locate it. Sssssssmokin'! (Newsweek)

What the Chuck Norris?

Everyone's favorite macho man, Chuck Norris, is hosting a new 5K race and hopes to set a world record at the same time - by having everyone dress like him! The race, to be held on May 4 in College Station, Texas, is asking all runners to dress like Norris and hopes to set a world record for most people dressed like Chuck Norris in one place... ever! The Facebook page of the CForce Chuck Norris 5K states: "We'll provide the matching shirts, beards, and belt buckles. You just show up." The proceeds will benefit Kickstart Kids, "an organization founded by Norris to help build students' character development through martial arts, and the Mercy Project, a nonprofit working to end child slavery in Ghana, Africa." As of this week, runners from 16 states had signed up! (Runners World)

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