(Cosmopolitan) Most sex dreams are less about the people in them and more about what those individual represent to you says expert dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg. So ask yourself: What stands out the most to you about this person? Their bananas sense of humor? Their boss-bitch attitude? That's what your subconscious may want you to incorporate into your own life.

When your sex dream is with:

Someone you can't stand like your ex
This is basically a nightmare a super common one. But dreams staring an ex are not a sign to reunite. "It's about what they used to represent: passion, desire, excitement," says expert dream analyst Lauri Lowenberg. You might need to bring that energy into your current relationship, or if you're single, try dating in a new way. If the enemy is not an ex, "your subconscious is urging you to reconnect with that person," says Lowenberg. "It's not good to carry around hate."

A total stranger
The "mystery lover" story line equals the second most frequent sex dream. And in a twist that would crush a hopeless romantic's fantasy, "it doesn't mean you're dreaming about the someone who's out there waiting for you," says Loewenberg. "This is more about some aspect of yourself that you're trying to get to know." Envisioning a fire night with a scandalous lover could represent your own need to be more authoritative and assertive like the kind of badass who would have a spontaneous bang with a stranger.

A co-worker or your boss
You see them every day, so of course they butt in at night. But there's a distinction between sexing your boss in your dreams versus a subordinate, says Lowenberg. If you work for them, the dream is likely about a power struggle. Solve it by finding something to collaborate on. If you did things with someone who reports to you, think about what they provide in real life. If it's an assistant who keeps your life in line, your brain may be telling you to get yourself together.

Your English Teaching Assistant
If it's the professor you always drooled over in class, this might simply be a hot for teacher situation in which case, lesson over, fantasy completed. But if it's someone you found legit scary or revolting like beyond their tough demeanor and wrinkled khakis, take note of the subject they taught you. "If it was English, maybe there's some need in your life for better communication," offers Lowenberg. "if it was math, it could be a call to get better at your finances."

A bunch of people
While they might seem crazy-fun dream orgies are actually a red flag that you have a lot of distress in your life. Aka you're experiencing a psychological overload that's manifesting as an overload of partners and body parts, says Loewenberg. It's time to look for ways to seriously Marie Kondo busy areas of your life or at least put a few things on the back burner until everything slows down. Cut back on happy hours for a second, or maybe take a vacation.

What your having sex dreams about:
90 percent - platonic friend
72 percent - total stranger
54 percent - celebrity
53 percent - an ex
49 percent - coworker
42 percent - faceless person
26 percent - lots of people at once
8 percent - a boss


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