THINGS TO DO ON THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR BOSS'S VACATION

• Best imitation of the boss wins everything in the supply room contest.
• Lock-jimmying contest, immediately followed by a charity raffle of executive office furniture.
• The battle begins for the coveted "Solitaire, Minesweeper, Tetris" Triple Crown.
• Staple that dweeb from accounting to the wall.
• Take pictures of the boss's favorite coffee cup in the toilet. Save for resignation day.